My Sweet Life

I'm drunk in a car with a cute guy I barely know.

This is what has been playing in my tipsy head, as I watch him get inside the car. My head is still spinning, but I'm very much aware of what is happening or what is going to happen. He is so cute and sweet. We will definitely do more than hold hands tonight, I thought to myself.

As he sat and closed the door, I can hear his cellphone virbrating. Shit, who could be calling him at 1:30am? Dan? His boss? or his......  It stopped, yes, peace and quiet again, and back in the mood again. I sat there looking at my window all tipsy and confused, heart pounding, scared and excited at the same time.

Gently, he faced me, took my left hand from my lap and held them between his hands. That felt  so great.  Then his right hand slowly combed my hair to so he could see my cheeks, ears and neckline. I love it when men caress my hair.

He is now holding my left hand while touching my hair with his right, and I can feel him moving closer. Still not looking at him, I felt him leaning forward. Oh god, he is definitely going for it.   His right arm is now around my shoulder, he is  slowly pulling me towards him.  I remained looking the other way but not fighting his moves. He calmly continued pulling till I am now leaning on his chest.

I am now wrapped under him, both of us looking out my window. He hugged me and kissed my hair gently. This feels really great, he didnt aim for the kiss,  he wanted an embrace. I could stay like this the whole night.

"I've been wanting to do this...." he said. "I like you a lot, and..... I wish we could spend more time together", he whispered.

"I'm not sure about this......, I feel its too sudden....." I answered.

Then he slowly adjusted himself to face me. He is staring at me, I'm drowning in his eyes.

Still wrapped under him, he slowly moved closer and slowly touched my chin, positioning them towards him. I closed my eyes and didnt fight it off. I've surrendered myself to be kissed. I'm waiting. He leaned forward, I could hear him breathing heavily.

His forehead now leaning on mine, he is thinking, deciding, taking it so slowly. He is going to kiss me....

Then....that vibrating sound started again. His phone on the stereo compartment is blinking and is definitely trying to get attention.  I saw his face turn different, he looked nervous and worried. He read the caller ID while hiding it from me......Its his GF.

I was waiting for a sign if this is right and Nokia gave me more than one. He excused himself and went outisde the car to answer the phone. He closed his door, but he was in a hurry that It didnt lock properly. It is partly open and I can hear him talk.

"Yeah, with Dan.......finalizing the bill..........baka coffee pa kami after....." shit...this is not right at all I said to myself.

"Ok.....I will....." he continued. 

Then I heard the final blow."..love you too".

I took a deep breath and did a 3-second scenario assessment: this is not his fault entirely, I knew he had a GF, I knew he likes me. We are both  tipsy and alone in the car. I could have gone home with Ella, but i didnt. I sent all the right signals for him. No need to get emotional here.  He is a good guy nonetheless, just tell him as it is.

When he finished, he went back and looked very guilty. He held my hand and stared at the steering wheel. "sorry about that" was all he could say.

I said "let's go home na, really getting late na, I think someone is starting to look for you....".

He looked at me and said "...ok....thanks for being here with me....hope we can be really good friends after the tequilla wears off"

I said "let's be friends.....let's be good friends....let's just not try to be something that we are not  ...i hope you know what I mean..."

"yeah.....I understand.....but sometimes..... there are things that you cant really fight off..." he said.

"I know, but let's not forget other people hooked up into this" I answered

"tagal na rin kayo right? don't let one tipsy night ruin things for you" I continued.

"we're 3 months na ....you had a boyfirned then right?, saw him picked you up before" he replied.

Oh my, timing was really not on our side. But what can I do?

"Ok,..Paul...we both know we like each other,.....but you are taken now..., I realized now that I dont want to  become miss third wheel.  I thought I could. Maybe its not really meant to be"

He answered, "I know....now I feel so happy and confused at the same time.....I just really like you eversince.......fate is really playing with us......just dont cut me off yet...let's enjoy each other's company as friends"

With that he started driving me home. He still holds my hand while he drives. I allowed him.

We continued talking about seing each other again and about the next launching. I didnt give any commitment but said I'll think about it.

When we  reached my place, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He hugged me ever so softly. He said "please let me kiss you..."

Then he backed away and with both hands he is slowly pulling my face closer to him. I held both his cheeks as well....and kissed his cheeks slowly...keeping his lips away from my lips... i stayed on his left side and didnt move ....our cheeks are leaning against each other....he is giving me soft kisses on the cheeks.....and i begin to do the same...my lips are touching his cheeks now.....then....I slowly moved them closer to his lips and......let go.  I didnt kiss his lips but the corners of our lips touched.

He leaned back, looked at me and smiled.

I said "good night and thanks for the night". I got out of the car and walked to my gate. That was my final signal for the night.

I'm not sure If I did the right thing.

:)

 

 

 

 

I now enjoy blogging, I enjoy sharing my thoughts and my stories, but most of all I enjoy reading other people's stories and their random thoughts.

I've met some friends thru blogging and I have learned a lot from their posts.

Today, I will take a sabbatical from posting, and will dedicate energy on reading, commenting on others blog. I am now an official commenter. It's sort of a case study to connect with bloggers with interesting stories, withh unfinished stories or with bloggers with deep thoughts hidden on their posts.

So far I've met online interesting bloggers, such as:

- A Greenpeace advocate, who was jailed in Spain for joining a protest

- Single Mom, who was abandoned by her family :(

- An olympian

- A office cutie inlove with his Manager

- a receptionist who worked to become a CEO. Cool right?

- groom, ditched at the Altar

- girl who likes married men

- guy in love with the girl on the next cube

...and a lot more

 

their stories helped me realized how thankful i should be in right now, and also opened my eyes to other realities of life. thank you all for sharing.

Blog you all soon! :)

 

I just watched a funny episode of The Office.

They played a game called Desert Island, and it goes like; if you were stranded on an island, who among your officemates would you "do"?.......it was a cute epsiode.

 

hmm...in my office I would do: J.C. (mr. eyes, shhhhh)

who would you do? initials only please...unless you want to spill it out

:)

Paul met us at the entrance of the bar. Impressive.

He even gave us tags with our names. He registered us. Impressive indeed. His gf was not there, weird and suspicious but nevertheless great.

He introduced me and Ella to his team and his manager. I was introduced as a friend from the "old office".

The party was great. Lots of cool and hot people around.  Paul and his team sat with us. Drank with us and really partied with us. Ella was a big hit to his friends. Dan, his officemate made the moves and flirted with her the whole night.

Paul was sitting beside me doing the usual moves as well: the whisper-in-your-ear-cause-its-loud move, the let's-drink-some-more toast to us get drunk......and eventually the where-did-you-park question to check If I brought a car.

Ella and I planned that If everything turns out ok with Paul and If he offers me a ride, I will say yes and we will give a lame story that Ella is meeting some friends later and that I need a ride...bla bla....lame but we've done this before.

Paul said, I'll take you home, I'm from Makati too. When the conversation lead to "where are you staying?". I said "sure if your sure".

Deep inside I felt something. Excitement, nervousness and fear. I've never been this open to a guy I barely know.

His manager was with us and he just kept on bringing in these drinks. Sure enough we didn't disappoint him. Shots after shots. Cheers after cheers. We were dancing as if DJ Tiesto was spinning. We were all having fun.

Paul was a great host. We talked about lots of things, and he seems to be very confident and full of sense. I couldn't believe I'm getting tipsy with him now after months of flirting and staring and pretending we were not interested with each other.

By 1am, we decided to call it quits and decided to go home. Ella gave me a kiss and a hug as she leaves. It was like a "are you sure about this?, be careful.." hug.

I looked at her and said, "see you tomorrow". She understood my I-think-so look and she left.

Paul and I started walking to the parking lot....

:)

It is so hard to walk straight when you are tipsy.

Walking to Paul's car, I felt liked the entire Fort is like in a dream, so cloudy, so fast, so spinning.....so..so.....drunk. Why did I drink that last shot. Good thing he is such a gentleman, he walked beside me, close enough to catch when I fall, but not close enough to be touchy.

When we reached his car, I leaned back on the passenger side door, I didn't want to go in yet, "let me catch some air first", I said ( I need time to let the drunkenness subside to a respectable level...tipsy/ flirty level).

He leaned beside me and said, You ok? Cool party right? And I think you liked the bar way too much. Yes waayyy too much, I thought.

We continued to talk and exchanged jokes about his officemates and his weird manager while the entire parking lot seem to move around, oh God I'm drunk.

And as we talk, I noticed that he is moving closer and closer till we are shoulder to shoulder. His left shoulder is leaning on my right (well, you get the picture). It felt good, I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder.

We continued the chit-chat, while we both have our arms on a criss-cross position. We now talk and stare longer at each other's eyes.

This is it, I said to myself. His next move will be crucial.

Then it came. He received a text message from his officemate Dan, asking him to get Ella's cell number. He showed it to me but it was too far for my near sighted and tipsy eyes. I took his cell to read it closer. Next, he held my hand with the cell to teach me how to scroll down. Surprised, I played along. His left hand is now holding the back of my right hand, reading the message, our cheeks are 2 inches apart, inbox searching and down scrolling together. The parking lot is dimly lit and only the cellphone is illuminating our faces. Nokia should have seen that scene.

After reading, we held the phone down, He released my hand and kept his phone. It is dark again.

Then, he went for my hand again and this time my hand welcomed it. As if waiting for it. We held hands softly, gently, till they are interlocked. Airtight locked.

We are now quiet, speechless and breathing heavily. We are both looking down the ground, smiling, while he gently squeeze my hand. We are both thinking about what is happening and where this is going tonight.

"Thanks for coming tonight.." he said, staring at me. I smiled slashed nodded, I cant speak. So nervous, so tipsy.

I'm not sure what to do, what to say. I love the the way he is holding me, so smooth, so slowly and so sweet. I don't want him to stop. But I'm not sure. I don't know. All I know is that once we are inside his car, things might get out of hand.

Then he said "let's get you home" , and he unlocked his car with his remote.

I didn't move. The sound of the door automatically unlocking didn't feel right. I felt scared, worried, and unsure. He is taken. I'm tipsy. He just held my hand. Should I go in?

I said, "ok". Its getting late. He opened my door and I got in. He gently closed the door and started walking to the driver side. I was watching him walk from my side, while my heart reaches 200 beats per minute.

I began to ask myself, "am I really up for this? "....

:)

 

(sorry too long already, Part 4 next post, my brother needs the PC)