I'm drunk in a car with a cute guy I barely know.
This is what has been playing in my tipsy head, as I watch him get inside the car. My head is still spinning, but I'm very much aware of what is happening or what is going to happen. He is so cute and sweet. We will definitely do more than hold hands tonight, I thought to myself.
As he sat and closed the door, I can hear his cellphone virbrating. Shit, who could be calling him at 1:30am? Dan? His boss? or his...... It stopped, yes, peace and quiet again, and back in the mood again. I sat there looking at my window all tipsy and confused, heart pounding, scared and excited at the same time.
Gently, he faced me, took my left hand from my lap and held them between his hands. That felt so great. Then his right hand slowly combed my hair to so he could see my cheeks, ears and neckline. I love it when men caress my hair.
He is now holding my left hand while touching my hair with his right, and I can feel him moving closer. Still not looking at him, I felt him leaning forward. Oh god, he is definitely going for it. His right arm is now around my shoulder, he is slowly pulling me towards him. I remained looking the other way but not fighting his moves. He calmly continued pulling till I am now leaning on his chest.
I am now wrapped under him, both of us looking out my window. He hugged me and kissed my hair gently. This feels really great, he didnt aim for the kiss, he wanted an embrace. I could stay like this the whole night.
"I've been wanting to do this...." he said. "I like you a lot, and..... I wish we could spend more time together", he whispered.
"I'm not sure about this......, I feel its too sudden....." I answered.
Then he slowly adjusted himself to face me. He is staring at me, I'm drowning in his eyes.
Still wrapped under him, he slowly moved closer and slowly touched my chin, positioning them towards him. I closed my eyes and didnt fight it off. I've surrendered myself to be kissed. I'm waiting. He leaned forward, I could hear him breathing heavily.
His forehead now leaning on mine, he is thinking, deciding, taking it so slowly. He is going to kiss me....
Then....that vibrating sound started again. His phone on the stereo compartment is blinking and is definitely trying to get attention. I saw his face turn different, he looked nervous and worried. He read the caller ID while hiding it from me......Its his GF.
I was waiting for a sign if this is right and Nokia gave me more than one. He excused himself and went outisde the car to answer the phone. He closed his door, but he was in a hurry that It didnt lock properly. It is partly open and I can hear him talk.
"Yeah, with Dan.......finalizing the bill..........baka coffee pa kami after....." shit...this is not right at all I said to myself.
"Ok.....I will....." he continued.
Then I heard the final blow."..love you too".
I took a deep breath and did a 3-second scenario assessment: this is not his fault entirely, I knew he had a GF, I knew he likes me. We are both tipsy and alone in the car. I could have gone home with Ella, but i didnt. I sent all the right signals for him. No need to get emotional here. He is a good guy nonetheless, just tell him as it is.
When he finished, he went back and looked very guilty. He held my hand and stared at the steering wheel. "sorry about that" was all he could say.
I said "let's go home na, really getting late na, I think someone is starting to look for you....".
He looked at me and said "...ok....thanks for being here with me....hope we can be really good friends after the tequilla wears off"
I said "let's be friends.....let's be good friends....let's just not try to be something that we are not ...i hope you know what I mean..."
"yeah.....I understand.....but sometimes..... there are things that you cant really fight off..." he said.
"I know, but let's not forget other people hooked up into this" I answered
"tagal na rin kayo right? don't let one tipsy night ruin things for you" I continued.
"we're 3 months na ....you had a boyfirned then right?, saw him picked you up before" he replied.
Oh my, timing was really not on our side. But what can I do?
"Ok,..Paul...we both know we like each other,.....but you are taken now..., I realized now that I dont want to become miss third wheel. I thought I could. Maybe its not really meant to be"
He answered, "I know....now I feel so happy and confused at the same time.....I just really like you eversince.......fate is really playing with us......just dont cut me off yet...let's enjoy each other's company as friends"
With that he started driving me home. He still holds my hand while he drives. I allowed him.
We continued talking about seing each other again and about the next launching. I didnt give any commitment but said I'll think about it.
When we reached my place, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He hugged me ever so softly. He said "please let me kiss you..."
Then he backed away and with both hands he is slowly pulling my face closer to him. I held both his cheeks as well....and kissed his cheeks slowly...keeping his lips away from my lips... i stayed on his left side and didnt move ....our cheeks are leaning against each other....he is giving me soft kisses on the cheeks.....and i begin to do the same...my lips are touching his cheeks now.....then....I slowly moved them closer to his lips and......let go. I didnt kiss his lips but the corners of our lips touched.
He leaned back, looked at me and smiled.
I said "good night and thanks for the night". I got out of the car and walked to my gate. That was my final signal for the night.
I'm not sure If I did the right thing.
:)
